


An Idea, Deer

by BlackIce_K1lls



Category: Hazbin Hotel (Web Series)
Genre: Disguise, Gen, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-12
Updated: 2019-12-12
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:21:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21766768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackIce_K1lls/pseuds/BlackIce_K1lls
Summary: Lucifer has a major workload to deal with and wants to get away from it. Then he has an epiphany.
Relationships: Alastor & Lucifer Magne
Comments: 3
Kudos: 96





	An Idea, Deer

**Author's Note:**

> This is based on an old debunked theory on Alastor and Lucifer. Not canon but a fun idea to play around with!  
> Also, this is my first fic in this fandom so please be a smidge gentle.

Lucifer was what you could say was… bored out of his mind. Sometimes he wished that he could just go out, cause some terror, get a laugh or so, and not worry about the other demons running from the fun. Of course, he liked the power he held over them but it was getting bland for a guy doing this for thousands of years. 

  
“Ugh!” Lucifer slammed his head repeatedly on the desk, ignoring his wife’s protests not to. The papers there jumped and his lamp bulb broke. He rested his chin on the desk and groaned. “Ah… too… many… PAPERS… BORING. Ugh.”

  
He held the papers loosely in his hands and then hit them repeatedly on the desk too in a fit of boredom. The words were a blur to Lucifer yet he did not care nor did he want to read. He let them go and made a mess of the floor.

  
He sneered and the look of absolute ‘not giving a shit’ was on his face. He sighed and sat up.” I don’t wanna do ANY of this. I don’t want to do boring stuff. I want… I just wanna have some fun.”

  
He held his face in his hands and ignored the screams outside, despite several demons slamming into his window. Lucifer picked up a pen and twiddled with it. He flipped to a new page of notes and stared. He scribbled and lost himself in his thoughts.

  
_Jeez, I just wanna go out and not worry about all this. But if I do that, I’ll get recognized immediately. I’d need a disguise of some sort. But I also need someone to fill in for me or make a really good excuse. Eh, I’ll figure that out later._

  
_But what kind of disguise?_

  
_A snake? No, they don’t have any arms. A sheep? No, too week and frail looking. A gecko? No, I just don’t like them. A goat! No, that’s too obvious._

  
_Oh dear, what am I going to do?_

  
_Wait._

  
Lucifer banged his hand down onto the desk, cause more of a ruckus. “That’s it! Deer!”

  
His wife Lilith popped her head in his office. “Yes dear?”

  
He shook his head. “Not you dear! Deer!”

  
She tilted her head. “Me dear?”

  
“Not me dear OR you deer, my dear!”

  
She shook her head too. “Wait, is it my dear or your dear, dear?”

  
Lucifer chuckled. “No dear, I’m talking about deer!”

  
Lilith remained quiet for a moment. “So me dear?”

  
“No, the deer with the horns and the- ah forget it!” He yelled and went back to his notepad. Lilith slinked away. “Now how should I design this deer?”

  
-

  
After what seemed like ages (really, it was only like a day or something), Lucifer finally finished his disguise. A deer demon who was much taller this time (he’s salty that he’s shorter than his daughter and has to wear heels for it), dressed in dapper clothing, and sharp yellow teeth, dyed in blacks and reds. But something was missing. Something outstanding and iconic.

  
Lucifer leaned back in his chair, thinking, and nearly fell. But to him, it got too quiet (strange for hell), so he flipped on the radio, a new and recent product of the pitiful human world. He kept flipping through them trying to find something that wasn’t praising/trashing him, IMP, or a trashy new song from the 30s. He frowned but then had another epiphany.

Lucifer reeled back and spun around in his chair, holding his notepad tight, and scribbled. There. Now he gave this… disguise something extra to show off with! A radio mic (he could give it a voice he wants and he will), dial eyes, a monocle, and Hell give ‘im a staticy voice! Why not!

  
Lucifer stared at his creation and got excited. He grinned wide. This thing he made… this perfectly, beautiful plan was perfect.

  
-

  
Lucifer immediately regretted going outside like this. He was confident in front of the mirror (he missed his hat though) but felt almost foreign in his own joint. Maybe he overdid it with the shoes and tail and maybe he wasn’t quite used to the extra height too but was still going strong. And then he slammed into another demon.

  
He could recognize them if he wanted to, as he stared blankly at the demon spouting insults at him but he was growing annoyed at how descriptive they were getting. He was dazed out for sure and wanted to get it over with, so he uh… oh, how do I put this nicely? He kicked them in the crotch, ripped an eye out, and summoned several tentacles to bludgeon them further while he hit them with his mic. In the air. In front of many, many demons. They either cheered or screamed.

Sounded the same to him either way.  
Then Lucifer soon remembered his actual objective in his disguise and started terrorizing any demon in the vicinity.

  
You probably know the rest.

  
Though his only slip up was him panicking about his name and origins. It was fine. He needed them anyway. And you probably know the name regardless.

  
It was Alastor!

  
-

  
Let’s skip to now.

  
Alastor was strolling along the street hearing the news broadcast from the speakers and TVs. Of course, he didn’t exactly approve of his young lady’s idea of rehabilitation of demons. They were here for a reason. But also, Lucifer was getting SO MUCH work because of the overpopulation. Because of this, he’s been covering as Alastor more often to escape from it. But he wasn’t saying that he was approving of his demon cakes and her ideas. No no no.

  
He just wanted less work to do.  
Lucifer had been parading around as the Radio Demon for nearly a century now and it’s been fun but he also got bored too with this reputation his disguise built up. He needed something new and fresh.

  
Alastor stopped in front of a set of TVs, still watching Charlie duke it out with, what was she, a mantis demon? Lucifer felt proud on the inside and smiled wide. His kiddo was finally doing something bad. Granted, it’s about her odd idea but still. If she was gonna be like this, he’d want to see it unfold. Then Lucifer came down with a third epiphany.

  
-

  
If it wasn’t for the fact that he had a smile on Alastor’s face, you wouldn’t know Lucifer was screaming inside. He had been doing this the whole time he was walking to Charlie’s hotel. He was having doubts (that he won’t admit to) about this new plan but Alastor went over so well that he went through with it anyway.

  
He looked up high at the hotel and took a nonexistent deep breath. He dropped the accent. “Okay Lucy. No, Alastor. You’ve done riskier stuff than this before. You just... walk in and say hello.”

  
Despite his mind screaming not to, Alastor knocked on the door and grasped his mic. It opened and he started.

  
“Hel-“

  
It was then immediately shut via his daughter. A beat passed and the door was opened again.

  
“-lo!”

  
Door was slammed again. This time for longer. He darted his eyes away and waited. His (denied) anxiety grew. The door opened again and he asked.

  
“May I speak now?”

  
-

  
Well, that jambalaya was good. No, wait. Off topic, off topic! Back to the actual story!

  
So, Alastor, now having a room in the hotel took to immediately barricading ever door, window, vent, and drain. He also tried to find any cameras but was relieved/annoyed to not find any. Alastor was a bit exhausted, but triple checked to make sure everything was secure, before pulling off his disguise and flopping into the bed.

  
Lucifer groaned. “Ah, I thought I was ready for this…”

  
He sighed, sitting up, and taking off his hat. He held it gingerly and breathed.

  
“I didn’t think it be THIS difficult. I just… I shouldn’t get too close. She doesn’t know me and I don’t know her.”

  
Lucifer glared at the clock and took out his mic, clearing throat for the next broadcast. He blinked and Alastor prepared himself.

  
_To her and to me, up until the whole day ends, we are merely business partners, and nothing else._

  
Then his voice filled the radios and the broadcast began.

**Author's Note:**

> I probably won't be making a sequel since this is just a one shot on an outdated theory but I hope you liked!


End file.
